Wednesday, September 1, 2010

You're responsible for your actions. Cheers.

I could make this part of "Happy Waitress", but this extends past the customer/server relationship and things that go down at a bar. This is about being responsible for your actions and not putting the blame on everyone but yourself.

Recently, the restaurant that I occasionally work at lost their liquor license. Without getting into the details of why the license is gone, the subject came up of a girl drinking underage there with a fake ID....then getting behind the wheel of a car and killing herself because she was drunk.

I feel this way: you drink, you drive, you die=all your problems.

Should someone be served underage? No, they shouldn't. Same as people shouldn't be jeopardizing the license of a bar by providing a fake ID. And before you say it, no, I never had a fake ID. I never snuck into a bar, and the first time I partied at any of the bars at my college, I was legit 21. Now that that's out of the way....

If you're providing a fake ID and you get away with it, you have successfully put the bar you're drinking at in danger of losing its license, and the bartender in danger of losing their job/being fined a shit load of money. But what do you care because you really need to be cool and be at a bar with your friends. You bad ass person you.

Ok, so you're drinking at the bar with your fake have one too you get behind the wheel? Of course you do, because you've proven how stupid you are in the first place by 1. using a fake ID and 2. getting drunk while using it. You didn't suddenly become intelligent and decide to hand your keys over to someone else...

So you get behind the wheel and you get into a car accident.

And you die.

The restaurant loses its license, is fined a bunch of money and the bartender is arrested. All because of YOUR choice to drink underage, provide a fake ID and then drive drunk. And die.

Is the restaurant your mother? Why should they hold your hand? Your ID looked real and they didn't have a scanner. You got served because you decided to deceive the bartender.

How is your death the bartender's fault? How is it the restaurant's?

Did the bartender hold a gun to your head and take you to get a fake ID? Did the owner of the restaurant force you to drink so much that you should never have gotten behind the wheel of a car? Did the staff at this restaurant insist that you drive the car?

No. No. and NO.

Your choice. You're responsible.

You died and no one should feel sorry for you.

Learn from your story? Sure. Feel sorry for you? Why?

If you had killed someone else and walked away untouched, people would insist that you should've died instead.

So now you're dead and because of your stupid, juvenile actions, a restaurant loses business and money...and now their servers lose money...maybe that money was paying for school or for a child that they have...maybe now they have to depend on the state or the government resulting in higher taxes...or maybe they get stuck without the education they were paying for because they can't get financial aid or a job since there basically are no jobs out there.

All because you needed to look cool with your fake ID and drink and drive.

You got what you deserve. I refuse to feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for all of the people you affected. Because even though no one was in that car besides you, you hurt plenty of people.


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Lebron's Interview:The Trainwreck

This is a direct quote from the Lebron James interview that just took place where he announced he will be joining Miami Heat. This quote took place before he announced his choice. Let's play: what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Jim: Out of the 6 teams that you sat down with, does the team that you are going to, know your decision?

Lebron: I just told them.

Here's why this is just told them? Well guess what buddy, now every team that you sat down with that doesn't have an answer from you KNOWS your answer is "no"....they now know that since they didn't receive a call from you, you won't be joining them.

And you know what Jimmy? Shame on you for asking such a boneheaded question!!! He's an athlete!! He doesn't know how to interview/speak. WTF were you thinking? You should be thinking for him and not setting traps. You're not Oprah interviewing Obama. It's a damn basketball player for crying out loud!! His job is to put the ball in the hoop, not do math!!!

This whole interview was a clusterfuck. There was no banter, it was: ask a question, get an answer, move on to the next question.

And who says this???: "Lebron, are you still a nailbiter?....because everyone around you has been biting their nails waiting for your answer."

Are. You. SERIOUS?!?!

Jimmy, how the hell did you score this interview? You asked the dumbest questions, you set him up (and didn't realize it despite the fact that it's your JOB), you were boring and you looked bored.

ESPN set up "The Decision" like crazy with Lebron looking up, arms outstretched. All that was missing was the crucifix. And yet, the thought that Jim Nantz was a good choice?

Worst interview ever. I would rather hear Barbara Walters ask Katharine Hepburn what kind of tree she thinks she is, then to ever hear this guy ask another question ever again.

As I'm wrapping up this blog I'm listening to Lebron say:

"Lebron has to do what makes Lebron happy."

Hope you're happy. Worst interview ever. I never want you or Jim to speak again. Ever. Thanks. xo.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Reply to all if all cares. All doesn't. Trust me.

File this under something a box of hair could do and therefore, if you can't, you're dumber than a box of hair. That's pretty dumb.

Welcome to the wonderful world of email. Where everyone thinks everything that have to say is interesting. If it's that interesting, start a blog.

This afternoon my blackberry has died. Why? Because the battery got drained to death because of the lovely "reply all feature".

It all started when an email was sent out from a group asking for volunteers. This group only cares about themselves so helping them isn't exactly on my list. Regardless, for some reason they have me on their mailing list. I don't reply, I don't say anything. I delete the email.

All of a sudden I start receiving emails from everyone on the list...I go back to my delete box and hit "reply all" to the email to see just how many people were on this list. Hint for everyone: just because it's BCC doesn't mean I don't know who's on the list. Hit "reply all" and tada, you can see every last email address. Didn't know that did you?

I see that the list is way to fucking long for me to process. I hit a "reply all" and implore (nicely) that people stop hitting that button to be removed from the list of if they have something to say. For instance, I couldn't give a rat's ass about little Johnny's graduation that will make it impossible for you to attend. Doesn't affect me at all so why did you reply all? It's not interesting and I don't care. So, "reply all" doesn't apply here.

That's the email I replied all to, asking that people refrain from doing that. Thank you.

Now my phone is dead. That's how many replies I received.

I replied to these people individually asking them not to reply all. You know what they said??????

"Stop emailing me".

Really? Fucking really? You're the one that replied all. You're the one that asked for it. You are dumber than a box of fucking hair!!!!

I'm also receiving a ton of emails that say "take me off the list"...when I hit "reply all" I see that they are sending this to multiple people. Why? Do you even know who I am? Probably not. In fact, I would guess that the people that sent the email in the first place don't know who I am because if that were the case I wouldn't be on the mailing list.

When someone emails everyone and asks them to lay off the reply all feature, don't respond. There's no response necessary. Read it, take it in, and fucking do it. Don't tell them to stop emailing you...don't tell them to take you off a list...don't tell them not to reply all when that's what you fucking did and exactly why you were being emailed IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

That's it. You're dumber than a box of hair...maybe one step above a pile of lawn clippings. And if you reply all one more fucking time, I'm sending porn to your computer at work (which I know you're at) and a virus to crash your computer.

So reply all one more time fucker. Watch what happens next.

Stupid box of hair.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I'm a dog

I have always been a dog person. I've never really gotten along with people. Mostly because I have trust issues and I'm a little high maintenance. That said, I never expect from people what I wouldn't give. I will toot my own horn and say that I break my back for those I care about but if you cross me or treat me like a doormat, I turn into a pitbull. I will go for your jugular, chew you to pieces and spit you out. I'm ruthless.

When I meet someone I don't care about first impressions. You get about 4 meetings to show me who you are. During that time, I'm cautious...I'm a poodle. I'm a total snob and you probably think I'm a bitch. I'm not. I'm just learning you and figuring out if you're worth my time. Because I know, that in me, you will have the best friend you ever wanted, but I won't waste that energy on people that suck.

If I'm your friend, I'm golden retriever. Ironically, I own two of them. I am loyal and will always have your back. I'm faithful and will stand by you whenever you need me. I listen when you have something to say. I'm excited when I see you. I'm dependable and you can run to me at 3am in a snowstorm. I'll be there. I'll keep you company. I'll show my teeth to people that threaten you. I won't play fetch, but I'll pick up the bar tab.

The only thing that's different is when you suddenly aren't my friend. Suddenly you're shady like a poodle I just met. You're aloof, you worry only about yourself, and you're suddenly not willing (and you never were, I just didn't know because I was too busy being your friend and caring about you) to go the distance and be there for me. You'd rather sacrifice the friendship then deal with the work it takes to maintain it. fucked me over. You acted like a cat and said shit behind my back. For the record, if dogs could talk, they wouldn't gossip. Cats would. I'm allergic to them.

A golden would let this go. A golden would let you do just about anything and keep coming back hoping you would love it.

I'm a pit bull. I'm a rottweiler. You cross me and I'll fuck you up. I'll attack, never worry about the consequences....I'll know I was right. I'll know you had a good thing and you let it go. I would've fought for you, been there and done anything for you. But unlike the golden, if you punch me in the mouth, you're going to get my teeth.

But if people were more like goldens, you would never see the attack dogs.

My goldens show their teeth when they feel I'm in danger. If I was attacked, I'm sure they would bite. But they are always there and they will always take my side even when I'm wrong.

I'm 90% golden. If you cross me, I'm one of those dogs you see put down in shelters. The ones that showed their teeth and the ones that clamp down on those that hurt them.

Maybe if you were more of a golden, I would've been less of a pit.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

People like her make me hate the human race

This is my car after the snowstorm i.e. Blizzard of Biblical Proportions i.e. a lot of fucking snow. This picture was taken around 8am, less than 12 hours after the snow stopped. The car to the left belongs to my better half, is a stick shift and is equally as buried. My better half works in Manhattan...clearly we do not live there. Look at all of the trees. See?

This morning, I cleared out my car because I have to go to work this evening. The shoveling included the snow behind my car that was put there by the plows around 4am this morning. An hour and a half later, my car was clear. My better half left for Manhattan at 7am this morning in his other car, leaving the one pictured under two feet of snow. Whatever, he doesn't need it until Saturday anyway...and since he works 8,000 jobs, he isn't going to get to shovel it before this weekend, and since I do as well, neither will I...I shoveled what I could but I thought I was going to die so I stopped.

Anyway....around 1pm today they started bulldozing the snow and they knocked on my door asking me to move my cars. I explained that while I could move mine, I cannot move the other as it is a stick shift, and I don't have a set of keys. Why would I? It's a stick, which again, I cannot drive. They say- Ok.. (reluctantly) and leave. I call my better half and inform him just so he knows what is going on. I ask him to call the president of the board (We live in a condo community) and tell him "thanks for the notice about moving our cars"...and then...

.....and then this blonde troll like woman on the board comes over. She explains that both cars have to be moved. I explain that I can move mine but not the other as 1. it is stick 2. I don't drive stick and 3. I don't have keys...because...see number 2.

She tells me she's going to tow his car. I explain that I will sue her if she does that. She tells me to go ahead.

No problem. I'm no stranger to the Court system (because I worked around one for 6 years..) and I'll gladly take this to civil court.

She's writing down my license plate and his...and um, I guess she forgot that I said I would be moving my car. I ask her again if she's planning on towing his car because if she said yes, I'm calling the cops. She says "yes". Great. I dial 911 and the cops arrived in less than 2 minutes. Very impressive.

In between then the bulldozing snow crew who all were very nice offer to move my better half's car...and I explain that I do not have the keys because I don't drive stick. At this point, I've called said better half so he can hear everything that is going on, while he is at work, in the city, doing something slightly more important than yelling at me to move a car that I can't fucking drive.

I move my car and tell the snow crew they can push the other car if they want, which they decline because it might be in gear or whatever. I don't know, I don't speak "stick".

During this time, said blonde troll from the board is screaming at me that the rules are in the guidelines, etc. I tell her that we would've moved our cars this morning had we known about the plowing...which she tells me she couldn't have predicted..and what was she supposed to do, "notify everyone?".

IT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB THAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. Yes, notify people that plowing will take place on the 11th, so if people could move their cars before that, that would be super.

But no, they didn't do that. Why? Because blondie says "it's in the bi-laws" and she "doesn't have to"...and "doesn't have time to call everyone" and "115 other people were able to move their cars".

To which I say "115 other people had the luxury of staying home today to do that".

WTF kind of stupid comments does this woman think she is making?!?!?!

Cops show up, calm everything down, but explain to me that she can tow the car if it's in the bi-laws. I say that there were 5 snowstorms last year and we never moved our cars once. This was also not the first storm this year and we have not moved our cars. Furthermore, if she had called last night to tell everyone that plowing would take place today, we could have moved our cars this which she says, and this is my favorite:

"Where would you have moved them? Everything was covered in snow."

BINGO YOU INSIPID TROLL. Nowhere! Why not? Because you didn't plow until the middle of the workday. You gave us no place to put our cars in advance of plowing and only provided a place at 1pm when most people are at work. It is not my problem that the rest of the complex got to sit on their asses at home again today and therefore were able to move their cars.

I also explain that we were at the last homeowner's meeting, and while she may have been on the board for the past ten year's, she wasn't there...and during that meeting we discussed snow removal, using a different company, etc...but we never discussed moving cars...and since we never moved them once during the 5 storms last year you would think that if this was an issue or a rule, it might come up. It didn't. And when I say this, what does this woman say? "We don't have to, it's in the bi-laws"....

And round and round we go. She agrees to only fine us $50 and she won't tow the car. Gee, how big of you. Where is that $50 going? In your pocket I assume because you totally picked a number off the top of your head. When I asked the fine you stared off into space and then decided on a number. Unreal.

People like her make me hate the human race. There was no reason for all of that drama. There was no reason for her attitude and her threats. There was no reason that police officers had to waste their time with that when there are people in real trouble with this storm. None.

The car can't be moved- we weren't given notice and even if we were, there was nowhere (ADMITTED BY MISS "I'VE BEEN ON THE BOARD FOR TEN YEARS") to even move our cars until the middle of the work day. How you can't look at this situation and see that there is no fair way to deal with this and just say "look- I know this is impossible, so just in the future, can you move your car and we'll look into a place you can move it...or we'll figure something out and talk it over with the board", is beyond me. Why this woman insisted that she was right just by citing the "rules" is unbelievable.

But you better believe this isn't over. No one talks to me like she did and absolutely I'll be at that next board meeting and writing letters until then.

Damn I hope she reads this.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Eat Something.

Too thin for the drugs she was taking for her anemia.

So a drug overdose? Not really. The LA Coroner says that her death was "preventable" if she had seen a doctor instead of taking all of that over-the-counter medication. As of right now, reports say the drugs weren't illegal but a full report will be available in two weeks.

Everyone that wanted to believe she didn't die due to a drug overdose can rest easy, sort of. I mean, technically she did...but that overdose could have been avoided if she had gone to the doctor or her body had been in the shape it needed to be in to handle the anemia.

But it wasn't in the right shape, in fact, it was too thin.

This girl came into Hollywood as the cute, adorable, bubbly actress...and then we watched her wither away before our eyes. Not unlike Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, or other Hollywood starlets. Now, in part due to her thin frame, she is dead.

I'm guessing this won't be a wake up call to the actresses that choose to eat white powder instead of actual food. Which is a shame. I am all for being thin and staying in shape. I constantly am baffled with how out of shape the general American population is...especially by the ones that make excuses about their "thyroid" and then take the escalator instead of the stairs every single time. But the thinness of some of these girls is ridiculous.

I get that there is pressure in this industry, but wow....there are so many actresses that are in good shape (not where I can see their bones) and doing well. Curvy actresses like Scarlett Johanson, Eva Mendes, Salma Hayek...all doing well and eating. I can't understand why actresses feel the need to look like a rack of bones and then consume drug after drug after drug. I don't care if they are prescription, over the counter or illegal. How stupid can you possibly be?

Furthermore, how much do you take your own life and everything you have for granted? Do you have problems? Yes...but I'm guessing the guy on the streets of NYC, living in a box in the snow that doesn't eat because he can't afford to, has slightly bigger issues than you.

Pay a shrink, buy some friends, go shopping, take a vacation...spend whatever money you need to get some help in a form other than white powder. Your problems are inconsequential and a laugh to the dad that just lost his job and has to support his entire family...or to the couple who lost their only child to a drunk driver....or to the business owner that declared bankruptcy and is now living on the streets.

You all can afford doctors and the best care in the world. You all have a life that so many envy and wish they could attain, yet never will. You all accepted the stress that comes with being "a star". Deal with it better.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Tim Tebow should stick to football.

Tim Tebow is currently under fire for putting together a "pro-life" commercial that he was hoping CBS would air during the superbowl. The 30 second spot would cost about $2.5 million and no, not a dime came out of Timmy's pockets. Furthermore, the Jaguars, who are said to be the team interested in the quarterback when the draft comes around, has supported him. Today, so did the NY Times...sort of.

I, for one, am now even happier that Alabama killed Florida and made Timmy cry. And if I owned a football team, there is no way I would extend an offer to him because Lord knows what he would say when wearing a jersey for my team. Shut up and play football.

I have no problem with people stating their views but I do have a problem with them being forced on me. It is bad enough that he preaches anytime a mic is put in front of his face, but now this?

Let me ask you something Atheists have the right to say "there is no God" if they are handed a mic? I'm guessing you don't think so. What about a commercial advocating being pro-choice? What if one of your teammates was a Satan-worshiper and everytime he won a game, he thanked the prince of darkness? Would that jive with you? No? OK, so why do you push your beliefs on everyone else?

This commercial is ridiculous and no one needs to see it. Tim says that his mother is supportive of it and the reason for that? Because she was urged to have an abortion and didn't...and now we have Tim Tebow, the great quarterback. Ok, super. If she did have the abortion, I guess this commercial wouldn't even be on the table...and what if Timmy had become a low-life drug dealer? Would Pam constantly wish that she had that abortion?

Look, I don't care if you're conservative or not, religious or not, but putting a commercial on the air preaching these views is unacceptable. Even more unacceptable is the fact that the commercial is not being funded directly by Tebow, but by "several generous sources". Who are these people? Why aren't they publishing their names? Why the secret? How can you put that kind of money being something and then hide? Aren't you proud of what you're saying and what you belief? What cowards.

This whole thing is a joke. There is no place for a commercial like this. You live your life the way you want and I will live mine the way that I want. I don't judge you and you are welcome to be pro-life all you want....but you have no right to tell others to do the same. It's ridiculous how it's always, always, the pro-lifers preaching and yet pro-death penalty in the same breath.

Shut up you preachy fools. Save your values for your own home. Raise your family with them. Do whatever you want.

Just don't interrupt a football game, or any other program on television with your views. We aren't listening and you may as well have just set $2.5 million on fire...because if this commercial were to air, trust woman is going to change her mind about having an abortion because she might just give birth to the next college superstar quarterback.