Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I'm a dog

I have always been a dog person. I've never really gotten along with people. Mostly because I have trust issues and I'm a little high maintenance. That said, I never expect from people what I wouldn't give. I will toot my own horn and say that I break my back for those I care about but if you cross me or treat me like a doormat, I turn into a pitbull. I will go for your jugular, chew you to pieces and spit you out. I'm ruthless.

When I meet someone I don't care about first impressions. You get about 4 meetings to show me who you are. During that time, I'm cautious...I'm a poodle. I'm a total snob and you probably think I'm a bitch. I'm not. I'm just learning you and figuring out if you're worth my time. Because I know, that in me, you will have the best friend you ever wanted, but I won't waste that energy on people that suck.

If I'm your friend, I'm golden retriever. Ironically, I own two of them. I am loyal and will always have your back. I'm faithful and will stand by you whenever you need me. I listen when you have something to say. I'm excited when I see you. I'm dependable and you can run to me at 3am in a snowstorm. I'll be there. I'll keep you company. I'll show my teeth to people that threaten you. I won't play fetch, but I'll pick up the bar tab.

The only thing that's different is when you suddenly aren't my friend. Suddenly you're shady like a poodle I just met. You're aloof, you worry only about yourself, and you're suddenly not willing (and you never were, I just didn't know because I was too busy being your friend and caring about you) to go the distance and be there for me. You'd rather sacrifice the friendship then deal with the work it takes to maintain it. Or....you fucked me over. You acted like a cat and said shit behind my back. For the record, if dogs could talk, they wouldn't gossip. Cats would. I'm allergic to them.

A golden would let this go. A golden would let you do just about anything and keep coming back hoping you would love it.

I'm a pit bull. I'm a rottweiler. You cross me and I'll fuck you up. I'll attack, never worry about the consequences....I'll know I was right. I'll know you had a good thing and you let it go. I would've fought for you, been there and done anything for you. But unlike the golden, if you punch me in the mouth, you're going to get my teeth.

But if people were more like goldens, you would never see the attack dogs.

My goldens show their teeth when they feel I'm in danger. If I was attacked, I'm sure they would bite. But they are always there and they will always take my side even when I'm wrong.

I'm 90% golden. If you cross me, I'm one of those dogs you see put down in shelters. The ones that showed their teeth and the ones that clamp down on those that hurt them.

Maybe if you were more of a golden, I would've been less of a pit.

1 comment:

  1. Aww - this makes me sad. It IS a great analogy though.