Thursday, June 3, 2010

Reply to all if all cares. All doesn't. Trust me.

File this under something a box of hair could do and therefore, if you can't, you're dumber than a box of hair. That's pretty dumb.

Welcome to the wonderful world of email. Where everyone thinks everything that have to say is interesting. If it's that interesting, start a blog.

This afternoon my blackberry has died. Why? Because the battery got drained to death because of the lovely "reply all feature".

It all started when an email was sent out from a group asking for volunteers. This group only cares about themselves so helping them isn't exactly on my list. Regardless, for some reason they have me on their mailing list. I don't reply, I don't say anything. I delete the email.

All of a sudden I start receiving emails from everyone on the list...I go back to my delete box and hit "reply all" to the email to see just how many people were on this list. Hint for everyone: just because it's BCC doesn't mean I don't know who's on the list. Hit "reply all" and tada, you can see every last email address. Didn't know that did you?

I see that the list is way to fucking long for me to process. I hit a "reply all" and implore (nicely) that people stop hitting that button to be removed from the list of if they have something to say. For instance, I couldn't give a rat's ass about little Johnny's graduation that will make it impossible for you to attend. Doesn't affect me at all so why did you reply all? It's not interesting and I don't care. So, "reply all" doesn't apply here.

That's the email I replied all to, asking that people refrain from doing that. Thank you.

Now my phone is dead. That's how many replies I received.

I replied to these people individually asking them not to reply all. You know what they said??????

"Stop emailing me".

Really? Fucking really? You're the one that replied all. You're the one that asked for it. You are dumber than a box of fucking hair!!!!

I'm also receiving a ton of emails that say "take me off the list"...when I hit "reply all" I see that they are sending this to multiple people. Why? Do you even know who I am? Probably not. In fact, I would guess that the people that sent the email in the first place don't know who I am because if that were the case I wouldn't be on the mailing list.

When someone emails everyone and asks them to lay off the reply all feature, don't respond. There's no response necessary. Read it, take it in, and fucking do it. Don't tell them to stop emailing you...don't tell them to take you off a list...don't tell them not to reply all when that's what you fucking did and exactly why you were being emailed IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

That's it. You're dumber than a box of hair...maybe one step above a pile of lawn clippings. And if you reply all one more fucking time, I'm sending porn to your computer at work (which I know you're at) and a virus to crash your computer.

So reply all one more time fucker. Watch what happens next.

Stupid box of hair.

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