Happy Waitress: This required no effort. I just twinkled my nose.

In the restaurant I work in, we offer a to-go service...it's become more and more popular with actual food places so you aren't restricted to McD's, White Castle (though OMG their pulled pork=heaven), and Burger King. There is a very large difference between restaurants and fast food places...and that difference is?

I get $2.13 an hour whether you get to-go or sit down at my bar or at a table...while their workers..um...get more. Which means, the proper thing to do, is tip. If you don't tip, I essentially worked for free. Let me break it down for you.

You probably think I had nothing to do with this order. After all, all you do is call up, place your order, and then when you show up it's there for you to pay for and take it home. Would you like to know what happens in between all of that? Awesome, because I'm going to tell you.

You call up and I answer the phone. I take your order which is very difficult. Why? Because while you're sitting on your ass at home trying to figure out what to order, I'm trying to manage my actual customers at the bar that will indeed tip me. Unlike customers at a table, I can't say to you: "are you ready or do you need a few minutes to decide?"...so how about this. Decide and then call. Don't give me "um" this and "hm" that...and please don't have a conversation with your friends about what they want while I'm on the phone. I don't have time for that. The menu is online and you know if you pulled this shit with a Chinese restaurant they would go moo-goo-gai pan on your ass and hang up the phone. Get it together and then call.

So while everyone at my bar is on hold, as well as all of the girls on the floor who need drinks for their tables, I'm waiting on you to decide what you want and then tell me so I can place your order. Once that is done, I have taken your order and told you my name so you know who to ask for when you come in.

When your order comes out of the kitchen, I double check it and I put it in bags. I print out the checks- draw little hearts on it and staple it together. When you come in, I have to ignore everyone at the bar (again) and all of the girls who need drinks (again) to get you your order.

So...when I hand you your order, with your check, why don't you tip me? I took your order as if you were here eating...I got it from the kitchen...as if you were here eating....I put it together and got you your check...as if you were here eating...and I took your money for the bill...as if you were here eating. I do the same amount of work and ignore other people for you (other people that tip me) so where the fuck do you get off racking up a $75.00 bill and not tipping me. I didn't just twinkle my nose and have everything appear.

I understand that people don't get it...which is why I put this here...I admit that I was stupid like this too once...but I'll take it further...

This past Sunday the Jets lost...I mean played a super great game (and lost- oh well they suck anyway and Sanchez can bite me) and the restaurant was packed. OMG packed. I've never been so swamped ever...thankfully I was being the bar with another competent bartender...however, we received at least $1,000 of to-go orders with no tips. NONE. There was a line out the door of to-go orders and I could barely walk away from the phone for more than two seconds (because more orders were coming in) to deal with any of them. So, between me and the other girl behind the bar, we were running around like crazy.

Let me tell you what is the most annoying thing in the world...when people CHARGE a to-go order and then put a BIG line through the "tip" line. That's a conscious decision to NOT tip. You are TELLING me that we did nothing.

It got to the point where people were cutting in line and I finally had to put someone in their place and use them to make a point to everyone else....I said..

"Go to the back of the line"...and he said he was in a rush...and I lost it...so it went a little something like this:

"I do not care that you are in a rush. We are dealing with over a thousand dollars of to-go orders and yet no one feels it necessary to tip either of us and we're splitting tips as is...so we are now working for the girls on the floor because they tip us out at the end of the night. If you want my attention, start throwing down money.Otherwise, walk your ass to the back of the line and wait for your turn to pick up a hundred dollars worth of food that just magically appeared so you can justify not tipping me!"

Here's the deal: when you pick up to-go orders, the same exact work that goes into taking care of you while you're there, goes on when you are not. Tip at LEAST 10%. MINIMUM....especially if we're crazy busy. We make less than $3 an hour. So keep that in mind next time you call me for something to-go.