It's Connecticut, not Texas

This week I crossed off another place that I will not travel to unless there is a car getting me there and taking me back. Oh, and it has to be paid for. If you're wondering where the other places are, here: Philadelphia (I'm convincing nothing good comes out of there/happens there...ever) and Westchester (no comment even necessary).

Now moving to the top of the list: Connecticut.

I had a photoshoot scheduled this past Monday. I responded to a casting that was for NYC models for a shoot to take place in NYC. In case you're wondering, NYC is in NY and not Connecticut. I know, confusing.

The photographer gets back to me last minute that he would like to hire me, but he needs me to travel to Connecticut (I'm going to start naming this "CT" because typing the name of this state is more annoying then actually traveling there) because he has a meeting that night and can't make it to NYC and back in time.

Fine. He's in New Haven which is straight up Route 95 so great, and super easy. I can get up there, shoot and get back in time for rehearsal.

So I leave at 6:30am est (NYC and CT are in the same time zone) to make it for a 9:30am shoot, which is an hour extra just because I'm worried about traffic. I get into NY state and see the following on a large blinking neon sign:

"EXITS 19-21 IN FAIRFIELD, CT CLOSED DUE TO ACCIDENT. PLAN ALTERNATE ROUTE".

Guess who doesn't live in CT and has no idea what alternate route would be smart? Hi, that's me. No problem, I think that maybe by the time I get through NY and into CT the accident will be gone. Of course, my hopes are dashed when I see the same sign by the time I cross into CT and reach exit 5.

So, now 8am, I call the photographer, alert him of the situation and ask him what he suggests for an alternate route being that the accident is only 20 miles south of his studio.

Answer: I don't know. I don't drive in that area.

Interesting...because this is how you would get to NYC, which is where the casting originally was. Oh, and if someone was travelling to me and were 20 miles away in ANY direction, I could give them an alternate route. But that's me and I have a brain. Oh, and we're not in Texas, we're in Connecticut. I'm one or two counties away and this moron can't tell me where I should go?

He then tells me that I should have a GPS. Super. How about you airlift one to me. Oh wait, you don't know where I am jackass.

This is where I should've turned around (especially when he told me that he hadn't even HEARD about an accident 20 miles from his studio) but because I'm a reliable professional model, I pressed on and called my best friend. I said "I'll give you 20 bucks if you can tell me where I am." She can't guess, I inform her and what do I hear from my best friend who is at work in New Jersey?

"WHAT?! You can't go to CT!!! There is a huge fuel spill and 95 is closed."

Weird how while in NJ, she knew that, yet the fabulous CT photographer had no idea what I was talking about because he thinks his state is the size of the entire country!!!!!

At 9:00 I hit the wall. Car in park. Can't roll down the windows because it's 80 fucking degrees out and there are bees flying into my car (Hi, I'm allergic) and my phone rings. It's fabulous CT photographer asking me my status.

I explain to him where I am and I get a reaction that sounds like he just smoked about 4,579 trees... "Oh...wowzers."

Wowzers?! Fucking wowzers? Really asshole?

I inform him that next exit I get to, I'm turning around and going home because I need to be in Jersey, on stage at 2pm. He's basically like "OK whatever".

I get to the next exit around 10:30am est. I turn around and go home.

I spent over 6 hours in the car that day to take a tour of NJ, NY and part of CT. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that this genius couldn't 1. express any sympathy or 2. give me directions from where I was when I was only 20 miles south of his studio.

CT, you're officially off the list. Suck on that.